Last week I was supposed to sit and write about (with pencil), then blog about usefulness. Many of us felt non useful during our tasks. I, like my co-volunteer Rachel did little more than sit and watch the children work at cooking, only helping with something occasionaly. I did however get to spend some time talking to the children before and after.
There was a time in my life when I was intent on starting a band (a jazz like combo). The rules for the band were that everyone was about focusing on composition, we were going to play all original material, and we wanted to create a style of our own (on a personal and a group level) that would set ourselves apart from any other band, and give a certain type of person a reason to choose us. It turns out it was difficult to even establish a once a week meeting for everyone, and get consistant practice happening. One of the hardest things to do is be self motivated.
What does this have to do with usefulness? None of the GPSers had tasks to do last week, and it seems none of us were very SELF motivated. Chris asked us whether we thought the after care staff at Kendall-Whittier would miss us. I honestly could not answer that question.

After returning from a particularly un energized service session at some level, the discussion afterwards  was centered on usefulness.  Our students at the site were helpers to teachers who did most of the work.  Not enough action really for any of us.  Good intentions, though.  And, as always, a good opportunity to learn.   Conner brought the big question home after this experience last week.  More on his statement in just a bit.

When asked if they felt useful, Grant replied- “No.”  When pressed about when do you feel useful- he responded “When I’m given something specific to do, especially if I can work with my hands.”  We all agreed with varying comments.  I then asked him if he felt useful when he helped me build the deck in the front of my house last spring.  He said yes.  I then asked everyone, “What if I wanted you to come help me with “home improvement” today?  And, since you have all the potential in the world, you decide what it will be.  I know its my house, and you’re not very familiar with it or with what I as the owner want to see, but just have at it.  You decide, you do it…. make it happen.  I’m sure its going to be great.”

I asked, “What would you say to me?”  Most replied, “Well thats all good, but just tell us what to do, and we’d love to help!”  I then asked what this has to do with where each of our students are in life right now.  Most structure is gone, most of their community they had leaned on is gone.  Their relationship with their parents is different now- most living at home, but not exactly where their place is.  Then Conner:

“It just seems that starting something on your own is the hardest thing.  I guess thats true for all of us in this room.  Being useful with something someone else gives you is good.  When you have to create it- its really hard.”

Everyone nods.  It is one thing that brings us together at GPS:  We’re not sure where to start.

OK.  I believe we can help with that, but it will take a little time….  Thanks for sharing your thoughts Conner.

ck

Being a father of two incredibly cool kids I am overwhelmed daily with a few quotes, “Hey dad!” “Dad, look at me.” “Dad, come see what I built.” “Dad, look at this, it is cool.” “Dad, watch me.” If I am being quite honest I get tired of hearing the word “Dad” sometimes. However,  I know what my kids are yearning for: Acceptance, Applause, an Encouraging Word, a little bit of Dad’s time and love…

I am also a big fan of the show “American Idol”. Now before you judge me on watching very shallow TV, hang-on. I love the stories. Last week they featured a girl who grew up in a very strict home. This girl basically seemed to live in the shadow of her parents, and at every waking moment she did her best to please them but it never seemed enough. Well, the girl broke free and was now sitting in New York City plastered on the TV waves. She sang and she made it. Tears of joy streamed down her face. American Idol proceeded to tape as she called her dad. The dad said, “Hello” and the first words after “Dad, I made it to Hollywood” where, “DAD, ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?” Now I am not much of a crier but the tears flowed. All the girl wanted was to know that her dad was proud of her.

I have friend that is an incredible athlete. In fact, this kid has more talent in his big toe than most have in their whole body. He was all-conference, all-state, and more in football and ended up playing at the collegiate level for a couple of years. Unfortunately, some bad choices ended it all. While he was struggling with this loss I began asking him tough questions. Who are you? Where you going? Why can’t you move on?  The bottom line was he missed the roar of the crowd. He missed the pat on the back when a fumble was recovered or a pass intercepted. He lived for the applause now it was gone.

As I sit back and watch person after person give to the tragedy in Haiti, I hear their silent, “Look at Me!” pleas for acceptance. Now I am not judging their heart or intentions because I think they do want to help, but if we are honest, we are crying out for the attention, the applause, the moment always. Just like my kids saying, “Dad look at me!” or the girl on American Idol saying, “Dad, are you proud of me?” or my friend missing the roar of the crowd when a job was done well. So the question becomes when the world, crowd, mom or dad don’t give you your acceptance, where do you go? We all want it. We all need it. But where you get it is very important, and it could mean life or death. Lastly, going back to motivation, are you only motivated to serve, clothe, feed, love during tragic events or big sponsored events so you can get the attention or  praise, or can you do it all for no applause, no pat on the back, no acceptance and feel secure in who you are made to be? I can’t  help but think that it is those who never get noticed in the world that make the most impact. What do you think?

Tuesday night I am sitting in an Outback Steakhouse in Tulsa, OK celebrating my brothers 40th birthday. When my eyes stretch out across the restaurant to the near by TV and I see “Breaking News – Haiti is hit with massive earthquake”. My thoughts immediately went to the missionary friends I know there, the churches and medical facilities they have built, and if they are all OK. I was motivated to say a little prayer for them, the country, and quickly moved backed to my shrimp, prime rib, and garlic mashed potatoes. Last night while watching the news I noticed another form of motivation. The New York Yankees gave $500,000.00 to Haiti, Lance Armstrong’s foundation gave $250,000.00, and the NFL Colts gave $10,000.00 to the Red Cross for relief efforts. I also caught that Obama and our government have already shipped out and flown out relief aide, along with troops to keep the peace. To this I say Kudos and applaud the action they have taken.

It seems as a nation and for the most part as a people we respond very well to massive tragedy. Whether it be tornados throughout Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas and people responding to wrecked houses and wrecked lives or on September 11th when the Trade Towers were hit by two airliners and people lives and a country where changed forever, people rose to the occasion. We see political figures, celebrities, Christians, Athesists, Buddists, etc. rise to the occasion of helping one another in spite of race, political preference, or belief. Although, the question remains why are we mostly motivated by a massive tragedy when injustices and tragedies are happening around us everyday? Nightly I am hearing on the news of police officers, firemen, teachers, and city workers in Tulsa and the surronding communities having their pay cut or worse their jobs taken from them and the New York Yankess have no problem increasing someone’s pay from $35 million to $40 million because the player hit 10 more home runs last year. But, when Haiti is hit with an earthquake they can spare $500,000.00. I have friends moving to Thailand next month to make a place of refuge for the girls in the sex slave industry and they can’t sell their homes, and are having a heck of a time raising the needed support to go. Is it not enough of a tragedy yet in Thailand that we will stand up and make a difference. How many have to die? How many girls have to be used, abused, and thrown out on the street before we take notice?

Again, what motivates you? Are you only moved when massive tragedy takes place around you, do you only respond when a tornado roles through town, or have you opened your eyes enough to see the hurt and pain around you daily?

** Side note: I am trying very hard not to use one wide brush when facing these issues. I know there are many daily fighting for injustices and I applaud them. I also know there are numerous athletes who give graciously to communities, civil and religious organizations, and many make a huge impact. I merely have a hard time seeing people struggle daily and we say it is because of our economy, while others already making a ridiciously amount of money are getting more. There seems to be something wrong with this picture. Thanks for allowing me to vent a little this morning….