I don’t know about you, but growing up I heard the words “Just Try Harder” often from coaches, teachers, and my parents. You see I was the average kid that was OK at a lot of things but not necessarily a stud at anything. Therefore, instead of batting 2nd or 3rd in the line-up I batted 8th or 9th. You see I could play but not at the level I or others wanted. Therefore, I was sent on a mission to “Try Harder”. I spent hours at the batting cage, watched my all-time favorite player Ozzie Smith over and over, I would listen to coaches and my dad, but it never really clicked. One day the baseball coach from our local high school came and watched my team practice and caught eye of me getting frustrated in hitting the ball. He watched, observed, then approached me and simply took my front foot and moved it out more opening up my stance. This way I could see the ball with both eyes instead one. (Who knew a few months later I would be fitted for glasses?) First pitch? It went sailing..

Seth Godin, one of my favorite authors wrote this about “Trying Harder”:

“The usual mantra is to ‘try harder’. Trying harder is impossible when you’re already trying as hard as you can.

But you can always try different.

Years ago, I was creating trivia questions for a product we built for Prodigy. We had a 99% accuracy rate in doing the questions. Which was great, except there were 1800 questions in a batch, which meant 18 wrong each time, which was totally and completely unacceptable. These were honest mistakes, made by smart people working as hard as they could.

No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t do better than 99%. So we switched our system completely and did it in a totally different way. Same number of people, same number of hours, 100% accuracy.

If it’s not working, harder might not be the answer.”  

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/03/try-different.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+typepad/sethsmainblog+(Seth’s+Blog)

I just wonder if this might be true of us and our desire to follow Christ? I know even in my own spirituality I have been counseled to just try harder. Our churches have tried harder to be relevant and reach more people using contemporary services, meeting in coffee shops, creating movements and more. But what if trying harder doesn’t work? Maybe it is time to try something different!

Any suggestions?

Pilgrimage is one of my new passions.  It first got my attention when I read a book by Paul Boers — The Way is Made by Walking.  It was his reflections on walking the 500 mile Camino De Santiago route in Spain.  When I read it, I heard the urge to go for a long walk.

Boers defines pilgrimage as “religiously motivated travel for the purpose of meeting and experiencing God with hopes of being shaped and changed by the encounter.”  This was my hope this summer as I set off for Melrose, Scotland with my daughter.  Our 65 mile walk took us through many villages, past castles and abbeys.  We began and ended on two of the most famous Celtic thin places (places where it seems the phyical and spiritual worlds are closer and there is a history of interaction with God in those places).  I did not know what to expect from a thin place.  Would I hear a voice?  Would I get ideas that I had not before known?  The answer is I experienced a deep emotional openness and peace.  The night before we started our walk, we were in Melrose whose abbey was just a few feet away from our bed and breakfast.  I woke up in the middle of the night with a longing to return to a place that I had not yet left.  As I read my journal now, the question I had then was “Is this what the relationship God has called me to?  Nothing spectacular, simply a place to sit and rest?

For me, the pilgrimage is a place to find healing in the ordinary.  I can do nothing each day but put one foot in front of the other until I finish my days task.  I cannot change my circumstance only contiue on as the path leads me.   Each day I am given resurrection as my sleep turns my tiredness and brokenness into strength for another day.  I started our journey with a deep sadness and a hope for an encounter.  I ended with healing and peace.  The encounter was not spectacular or awe inspiring.  It was a stillness that came from the walk.  I continue each day to yearn for my next walk and just maybe another day in Melrose.

Where are you going?  What do you wish to encounter?  What adventure would bring you peace? Have you taken a pilgrimage? What is it about this experience that grips my heart and changes me?

I hope to this point I have gotten many of you to think about service and generosity to the point where you feel overwhelmed. To ask the tough questions like: “How do I do all of this?” “How do I keep my eyes open to see the needs around me and respond?” “Why am I so selfish?” Let me bring some guidance along the way.

The is no doubt each and everyday there are hurts, social injustices, and pain all around us. So how do we really help? We also see catastrophes like Katrina, Haiti, 9/11, and so on. How do we help? Do we get so overwhelmed we don’t do anything? This past Sunday we had a couple of families leaving for Thailand to work with young women in the sex trade industry. There is something that Kelly said that has stuck with me. “What do you burn for?”  She said, “find what you burn for and do it…”

Let me ask you! Do you burn for anything? Something so strong that you would leave everything behind to pursue it?  If not, why not? Do our neighborhoods burn for anything? Do our churches burn for anything? The lost, the poor, the sick, the naked, the hungry? I have a feeling that we all have no idea what we burn for so therefore we throw money at things that come our way, go on mission trips, serve in soup kitchens so that we feel better about ourselves as people and sadly enough as Christians. So instead of serving out of our God given passion and gifts we serve out of duty. So how is that working for you?

If you feel lost in the area of engaging or struggling with your identity and purpose than I ask, “what do you burn for?” If you know than focus on it. Andy Stanley in many of his books says, “do less for more”. If you focus the impact will be greater. Reality is we have so many organizations and ministries that have no clue what God wants them to do so they throw the kitchen sink at it and hope something sticks. Then we sit back and wonder why we are not being effective. I know strongly enough that people don’t want to be involved in something that doesn’t make a difference or is stagnant. If you don’t know what you burn for go out and serve and educate yourself. Find something you believe in and want to impact and go for it.

What do you burn for?

As I looked behind me, I could see the top of the oak tree my long and slender platform extended from, shake and twist with every move I made.   Looking forward, I could see way below me the bottom of the ravine where it appeared the open maul of the earth was ready to swallow me.  I heard the metal clink as the karabiner gate closed into place. Immediately it hit me; the weight of the cables pulling me towards the edge.  The harder I resisted, the greater the tension on the swing cables and the stronger the draw to the edge.  I was faced with a decision at that point in time. On one hand, I could allow my fear to keep me frozen in place.  Although the status quo was unpleasant and unsustainable, I knew what I had there on the end of that platform.  The other choice was to keep resisting the source of my fear and let the weight of the cables do their job and pull me into the unknown where after the second or two of weightless uncertainty, I would experience the adventure of a lifetime.  I am glad I took the leap.

This same scenario could be a description of my life of faith.  I have had different sources of fear that motivated me towards God.  At first it was the fear of judgment and punishment.  I am glad that God had something much better in mind.  My experiences, both structured and planned as well as those happenstances of life, have continued to question the skewed vision I had of God.  Each time I was willing to question what I thought I knew, I discovered a clearer picture of the truth (Robinson, 2009).  What causes you fear?  Where might it seek to lead you?

Now that I have run the word motivation into the ground, I thought I would come back and talk about the very root that “should” motivate us. In fact, watching “The Grammy’s” the other night they mentioned this word a lot. It flashed on the screen above the singers more than a dozen times, and each person talking about Haiti mentioned it in their speeches. Although, I don’t know if the word really stuck or if their definition was correct. As most of you probably have guessed this word is “LOVE”.

Love is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but I am not sure we understand the implications it holds. When I was a young stud wooing the ladies (kidding of course), I threw this word out quite a bit. You know the awkward times of getting off the phone and the words “I Love You” usually spew out when you are not thinking, or you get caught in a trap by her spewing the same words first. Merely listening to the radio or musical artists we see love used excessively. “Love Will Build a Bridge,” “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” and my all time favorite by DC Talk, “Luv (notice spelling) is a Verb”. You know DC Talk may have gotten it right more than we think. Listen to these words: “Because love is a word that requires some action.” So what is love without action?

Of course, when speaking of love my mind automatically goes to I Corinthians 13. Most of you might be familiar with what it says in I Corinthians 13:4-8. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Man, what a great passage right? I believe this gives us a great look at love, and we can even compare ourselves to it as sort of a measurement. Am I patient? Do I insist on my way? And so on. The part we often over look is captured by Paul in verses 1-3. Paul gives us an idea of what this motivator is all about. “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

If it is not eloquent words, knowledge (which we put so much stock into now days), or faith and not even ultimate surrender than what is love? Share some stories that you have seen that describe this ultimate motivator, and give some ideas of what you think love truly is. And if that is what you believe then do you posses that kind of love?

Being a father of two incredibly cool kids I am overwhelmed daily with a few quotes, “Hey dad!” “Dad, look at me.” “Dad, come see what I built.” “Dad, look at this, it is cool.” “Dad, watch me.” If I am being quite honest I get tired of hearing the word “Dad” sometimes. However,  I know what my kids are yearning for: Acceptance, Applause, an Encouraging Word, a little bit of Dad’s time and love…

I am also a big fan of the show “American Idol”. Now before you judge me on watching very shallow TV, hang-on. I love the stories. Last week they featured a girl who grew up in a very strict home. This girl basically seemed to live in the shadow of her parents, and at every waking moment she did her best to please them but it never seemed enough. Well, the girl broke free and was now sitting in New York City plastered on the TV waves. She sang and she made it. Tears of joy streamed down her face. American Idol proceeded to tape as she called her dad. The dad said, “Hello” and the first words after “Dad, I made it to Hollywood” where, “DAD, ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?” Now I am not much of a crier but the tears flowed. All the girl wanted was to know that her dad was proud of her.

I have friend that is an incredible athlete. In fact, this kid has more talent in his big toe than most have in their whole body. He was all-conference, all-state, and more in football and ended up playing at the collegiate level for a couple of years. Unfortunately, some bad choices ended it all. While he was struggling with this loss I began asking him tough questions. Who are you? Where you going? Why can’t you move on?  The bottom line was he missed the roar of the crowd. He missed the pat on the back when a fumble was recovered or a pass intercepted. He lived for the applause now it was gone.

As I sit back and watch person after person give to the tragedy in Haiti, I hear their silent, “Look at Me!” pleas for acceptance. Now I am not judging their heart or intentions because I think they do want to help, but if we are honest, we are crying out for the attention, the applause, the moment always. Just like my kids saying, “Dad look at me!” or the girl on American Idol saying, “Dad, are you proud of me?” or my friend missing the roar of the crowd when a job was done well. So the question becomes when the world, crowd, mom or dad don’t give you your acceptance, where do you go? We all want it. We all need it. But where you get it is very important, and it could mean life or death. Lastly, going back to motivation, are you only motivated to serve, clothe, feed, love during tragic events or big sponsored events so you can get the attention or  praise, or can you do it all for no applause, no pat on the back, no acceptance and feel secure in who you are made to be? I can’t  help but think that it is those who never get noticed in the world that make the most impact. What do you think?

Nearly twenty years ago now, I was sixty feet up an eighty foot cliff.  I found myself paralyzed by fear and uncertainty.  The person on the end of my rope was a nineteen year old who had never rock climbed before.  Although I knew the equipment would work and keep me safe, I did not have the same assurances about him.  Running out of strength, my mind clouded and I could not find a way forward.  In the next moments, I fell.  The rope held, as did my belayer, and I quickly completed the climb with little effort.

Looking back I see in this short encounter the essence of my experience on Frost’s “road less travelled”.  You see going down the less travelled path has been for me less some spectacular scenario and more simple choices. These choices are moments when I could have stayed trapped in what I knew or risk something unfamiliar; I was compelled into the unknown.  Whether it was the first time I started thinking for myself in high school rather than let teachers tell me what to do or start asking the tough questions about the faith and doctrine that had been programmed into me as a child, these were the points in time where my life path has been determined. 

Just like after falling on my climb, I realized that my fear was perceived rather than real, when I started listening to the restlessness, dissatisfaction and inconsistency in my set of beliefs about God and began asking different questions, I found that the fear I had about questioning what I thought was truth was more perceived fear rather than real fear.  I discovered that God was not afraid of my questions.  In fact, He was calling me into those questions. 

For me what has been at the end of the “road less travelled” is a real chance at life beyond fear.  The message that I heard and believed when I was young made me jealous, afraid, critical and distant just like the God I thought I had to serve.  What I discovered was freedom that did not depend on my performance but a peace to be found in the assurance of my acceptance by God.  For the first time, I have started liking myself, not fearing other people and experiencing something of the deeper mystery of God’s actions for humanity (Robinson, 2009) . What questions are you being called into right now?

“If the world is saved, it will not be by old minds with new programs but by new minds with no programs at all” (Quinn,1999).

This quote has stayed with me now for over a decade.  There is a haunting truth that I fear if we do not understand will result in much of the same, lifeless activity in the name of faith.  It has been the words of Eugene Peterson which has helped me understand the perilous nature of programs.  Spiritual formation, coming to understand and trust who God says we are, is a relational work.  The most important things in life: trust, love, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance are all relational. 

Programs are not.  Programs are efficient, clean, planned and antiseptic.  They are planned around abstractions and goals primarily of one person who wants to change other people.  Programs, no matter how well intentioned, are always focused on the planner and they leave the participant as generic receivers of the planners goodwill.  Programs are well organized means of relating without the need for real relationship.  We need “to recognize the unrelational ways set before us in the community—principles and abstractions, causes and programs—and see them for what they are, substitutes for love” (Peterson, 2005). They will not solve our toughest problems nor will they help us experience life and love.

So Quinn asks the necessary follow up question, “If programs don’t work, then what does?  What works so well that it never occurs to anyone to create programs to make it work?” I have come to a conclusion that the alternative to programs is process.  Perhaps even process is still too contrived but we live in a culture with schedules and slots of time rather than living in contexts where we naturally engage the natural processes of life together.  So process is an acceptable substitute for programs. 

Process does allow for some organization but it is an organization of the context and of starting points but not outcomes.  Process requires an adventurous courage and real relationship if done well.  Process asks questions without the need for any particular answer.  It sets out in a direction without a preconceived destination.  It requires ongoing listening and openness to what shows up in our interactions right now.  The content of process is not predetermined but co-discovered in our interactions together in a particular place at a particular time.  The outcomes are not reproducible on a mass scale for they are the product of a particular set of relationships.  Process honors mystery and thus makes it possible for us to encounter what we cannot even imagine.  What are you looking for in life?  Who is accompanying you in the search?  How are you searching?  Are you willing to be a new mind with no program?

Tuesday night I am sitting in an Outback Steakhouse in Tulsa, OK celebrating my brothers 40th birthday. When my eyes stretch out across the restaurant to the near by TV and I see “Breaking News – Haiti is hit with massive earthquake”. My thoughts immediately went to the missionary friends I know there, the churches and medical facilities they have built, and if they are all OK. I was motivated to say a little prayer for them, the country, and quickly moved backed to my shrimp, prime rib, and garlic mashed potatoes. Last night while watching the news I noticed another form of motivation. The New York Yankees gave $500,000.00 to Haiti, Lance Armstrong’s foundation gave $250,000.00, and the NFL Colts gave $10,000.00 to the Red Cross for relief efforts. I also caught that Obama and our government have already shipped out and flown out relief aide, along with troops to keep the peace. To this I say Kudos and applaud the action they have taken.

It seems as a nation and for the most part as a people we respond very well to massive tragedy. Whether it be tornados throughout Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas and people responding to wrecked houses and wrecked lives or on September 11th when the Trade Towers were hit by two airliners and people lives and a country where changed forever, people rose to the occasion. We see political figures, celebrities, Christians, Athesists, Buddists, etc. rise to the occasion of helping one another in spite of race, political preference, or belief. Although, the question remains why are we mostly motivated by a massive tragedy when injustices and tragedies are happening around us everyday? Nightly I am hearing on the news of police officers, firemen, teachers, and city workers in Tulsa and the surronding communities having their pay cut or worse their jobs taken from them and the New York Yankess have no problem increasing someone’s pay from $35 million to $40 million because the player hit 10 more home runs last year. But, when Haiti is hit with an earthquake they can spare $500,000.00. I have friends moving to Thailand next month to make a place of refuge for the girls in the sex slave industry and they can’t sell their homes, and are having a heck of a time raising the needed support to go. Is it not enough of a tragedy yet in Thailand that we will stand up and make a difference. How many have to die? How many girls have to be used, abused, and thrown out on the street before we take notice?

Again, what motivates you? Are you only moved when massive tragedy takes place around you, do you only respond when a tornado roles through town, or have you opened your eyes enough to see the hurt and pain around you daily?

** Side note: I am trying very hard not to use one wide brush when facing these issues. I know there are many daily fighting for injustices and I applaud them. I also know there are numerous athletes who give graciously to communities, civil and religious organizations, and many make a huge impact. I merely have a hard time seeing people struggle daily and we say it is because of our economy, while others already making a ridiciously amount of money are getting more. There seems to be something wrong with this picture. Thanks for allowing me to vent a little this morning….

As a reader of this blog I must say I count it an honor that you are reading this, but let me be honest with you. This is my first rodeo. Now, I could say be patient with me, don’t ruffle my feathers too much, etc. but I am not treading in that water. I think what CQ Missional is trying to accomplish with this interaction is real conversation as we share tough questions, feedback, and our deep, heart felt issues. So let’s try it. Be nice, but let’s challenge each other to the core of who we are, what we believe, and why we believe it. Who knows this just might make us better people, leaders, followers, spouses, employees, and more.

Growing up in a pastor’s home in a strict, almost legalistic at times, denomination I have always been struck with the thought: “Why do I do what I do?” Do I wear certain clothes so others might see me and think “that guy is a follower of Christ?” Do I get myself up on Sunday mornings to darken a church door to please myself, my parents, my God, or to fulfill an obligation? Do I work in full-time ministry because that is what everyone told me I would be good at and I didn’t want to disappoint them? I guess what I am trying to get at is this: we are all motivated by something. There is some reason, good or bad, why we put two feet on the floor next to our bed each morning. It could be a pay check, a great job, friends, or a significant someone. It could be because we are destined, called, or because we have purpose in life. It all comes down to motivation. Dictionary.com describes motivation as a force, stimulus (heard this word before?), or influence. If we are honest we are all driven by motivation. Commercials motivate us to buy Mac or PC, Coke or Pepsi, Toyota or Honda, and the list goes on and on. We face pressures to have the the right job, with the right benefits, so we can have the right house, in the right neighborhood, so our kids can go to the right school. We are motivated to attend the right church, with the right pastor, that preaches the right way, and gets us out on time to get a seat at our favorite restaurant before everyone else. We are driven by motivation and this motivation can tell us a lot about ourselves. What are we living for? Who are we living for? What kind of legacy are we leaving behind us?

So I start this conversation by asking a few simple questions: What motivates you? Why does this motivate you? What does this motivation say about you as a person, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee, or boss?