“From dust you came, and to dust you shall return.”

Every year for more than a decade now, I have gone to church on Ash Wednesday to have someone say those words to me as they rub ashes on my forehead.  Every year I anticipate what it might feel like to have someone utter, with no apology or explanation, those haunting words to me.  And despite my anticipation, the moment itself is always a little startling.  It seems appropriate that I leave with ashes smeared on my forehead, taking with me a vivid if strange reminder of what I have just heard spoken.

Ash Wednesday service is where we begin our yearly journey into the Passion narrative.  We know that the story culminates with Easter, a grand celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus.  But first Lent.  “Like Christ, who spent 40 days in the wilderness praying and fasting before beginning his ministry, we spend the 40 days before Easter considering our lives and our relationship with the world around us” (from 2010 Lenten Meditiations).

It seems appropriate that Daniel M. posted a blog last week dealing with the frustration of our finite nature (Falling Whistles).  We cannot help everyone.  We are overwhelmed by our own limitations.  This is where we begin in our Lenten journey.  And then we say we are sorry for what we have done and what we have left undone.  After that we lift our heads and we say to God, but more to remind ourselves, “You hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent…”

Then we begin our 40 days of examination, and by the end we are walking with Jesus through his sufferings and remembering Christ’s compassion for the suffering.  And by the time we get to Easter … but that’s getting ahead of ourselves.  We’ll talk about that in 40 days.

Ben is in our Certificate in Missional Leadership program.  He is spending a year, getting a grad level education, personal counseling about his place in the world, and is immersed in an east Tulsa community at Garnett Church of Christ.  He has a big project where he is creating opportunities for stories to be told within the congregation, and beyond into the community.  His project is making a contribution to this community- people are connecting, and learning to care better for God’s children.  He’s learning a ton- and making a difference in the process. Here’s his first video.

Food Pantry and Clothing Closet from Ben West on Vimeo.

I had the great opportunity of doing some good ol’ manual labor yesterday at work. I spent the afternoon by myself workin’ on our indoor climbing wall.  It was a little slow movin’ but I really enjoyed it, because it gave me the opportunity spend some time alone with my thoughts (which unfortunately doesn’t happen all that often) and of course it gave me a chance to catch up on some old podcasts.

Seeing as I am kind of obsessed with podcasts and subscribe to a ridiculous amount, I had a lot to listen to, from a fun and fascinating podcast  about the Muppets, to a live music session with the Cold War Kids, to an interview with Rosanne Cash done by NPR’s Terry Gross.   They were  all really fun and entertaining, but it was the Rosanne Cash interview that really stood out among the pack.  At the time of the interview, Rosanne had recently released her newest album, The List.  This record is a collection of cover songs that she selected and recorded from a list that her father, the legendary Johnny Cash, had given to her when she was just 18.  He recognized that his daughter was missing out on a good majority of the music that had influenced him, so he made a list of the ‘100 essential country songs’ and gave it to her as a both a gift and a bit of a homework assignment.  What an incredible gift.

The rest of the afternoon,I found myself of how much I would have loved to receive a gift like that and how excited I am be able to pass on a list like that to my own children someday. Then I started thinking through what my list would be called and what songs I would put on it.  But then I thought back to a question that Gross had asked during the interview.  Terry pointed out the fact that the past several years had been rough on Rosanne, with the death of both of her parents and her stepmother June Carter and then she lost her voice for three years then to top it all off had to go through brain surgery.  “It’s been a rough period. And when people go through a rough time, I mean some people turn to religion, some people turn to drugs or alcohol, some people have nothing to turn to, some people are lost, some people find this inner strength…there were times in your father’s life when he turned to drugs or pills and, but through all his life, I think he had a sense of Jesus in his life….So what about you? (What) have you had that has kept you through all this?” To which Rosanne responds “I adhere to the religion of art and music and small children.”

Yeah it’s pretty awesome that Johnny was able to have such a great musical influence on his daughter.  The List is an incredible album.  I highly recommend it. Her cover of Dylan’s “Girl From the North Country” is incredible and the duet she does with Springsteen on “Sea of Heartbreak” is breathtaking.   But unfortunately it won’t last.  As wonderful and powerful as music is, if she keeps looking to it alone for healing and comfort, she will eventually be let down.  I am still thrilled about that day that I get to pour hours into making the perfect Beach Boys mixtape for little boy or little girl to listen to while they go to bed.  But I am even more excited about the opportunity to spend every day sharing with my kids the love that Jesus has given to me.  And it is my hope that  rather than getting focused on grooming my child’s musical tastes that I will be able to pass on something much greater. So what kind of an impact are you going to have on your children?  And are you being intentional with what you pass on to them?

As I looked behind me, I could see the top of the oak tree my long and slender platform extended from, shake and twist with every move I made.   Looking forward, I could see way below me the bottom of the ravine where it appeared the open maul of the earth was ready to swallow me.  I heard the metal clink as the karabiner gate closed into place. Immediately it hit me; the weight of the cables pulling me towards the edge.  The harder I resisted, the greater the tension on the swing cables and the stronger the draw to the edge.  I was faced with a decision at that point in time. On one hand, I could allow my fear to keep me frozen in place.  Although the status quo was unpleasant and unsustainable, I knew what I had there on the end of that platform.  The other choice was to keep resisting the source of my fear and let the weight of the cables do their job and pull me into the unknown where after the second or two of weightless uncertainty, I would experience the adventure of a lifetime.  I am glad I took the leap.

This same scenario could be a description of my life of faith.  I have had different sources of fear that motivated me towards God.  At first it was the fear of judgment and punishment.  I am glad that God had something much better in mind.  My experiences, both structured and planned as well as those happenstances of life, have continued to question the skewed vision I had of God.  Each time I was willing to question what I thought I knew, I discovered a clearer picture of the truth (Robinson, 2009).  What causes you fear?  Where might it seek to lead you?

This week I watched a mother bury her young daughter. I watched as the casket closed and she caught the last glimpse of her daughter’s body. I watched as a family mourned; a brother and a sister in shock, and a mother and a father in a haze of dark, surrealism. I hurt for them. It also reminded me of personal tragedy in my own past. I hurt for myself as well.  

This week, I also counseled a man whose wife had left him. Distraught, and with small children in tow, he is lost and frightened. I hurt for him. It also reminds me of tragedy in my own life. I hurt for myself as well.

I sometimes find myself reaching deep inside, desperately grasping for something to offer in these situations, something to ease the pain. It feels like treading water in hopelessness. For the sake of honesty, I must admit that I struggle with balancing a need to repair the brokenness in others, and embracing the reality of my limitations. I want to be a fixer-of-problems, and I sometimes find it difficult to live in this tension. In retrospect, many parts of my adult life have been defined by various levels of success and failure in dealing with this type of tension. I am a father who wants to guide his children in patience and love, but sometimes I fail. I am a husband who wants to always offer solutions, safety and compassion, but sometimes I fail. I am a friend who wants to always offer stability, but sometimes I fail. I am a child of God who wants to be used in the glorification of our risen Lord, but I know that sometimes I fail.   

I’ve come to believe that God calls me into the lives of others, but when I get there, I sometimes question why and what it is that I really have to offer. Over time, however, I have discovered a strange peace in embracing my limitations, and in admitting that I do not have a solution to every problem. It sounds simple on the outside of a situation, but defining my limitations helps to refocus my attention and strengthens my reliance on God. It also can allow others to find their limitations and deeper reliance on God as well. As I learn to embrace this tension, I am discovering tremendous opportunity for personal growth. I find hope in realizing that when I get to the end of myself, I’ll find God. I just need to step out of the way more. That is what I can offer and ironically, the more I engage life, the more I put myself out there, the more I stretch myself. That also means, however, the more I have to face the limitations of my own abilities. A strangely beautiful cycle and one that, for me, offers meaning and purpose, even in pain of loss and helplessness.   

Also, by engaging in the lives of others, I also see things that are holding me back from living the full life that God has created for me. I am both blessed and helpless at the same time. In the reality of others, I see my own reality. I believe that’s part of God’s plan for us. We are all part of a larger tapestry. I’ve known people that have retreated into isolation, both physically and metaphorically, in an attempt to escape reality, and it makes me wonder if true growth is really possible without passing through the lives of others, without sharing stories, time and space within community, even (and maybe especially) when it hurts.  I’ve learned that there is a huge difference in feeling helpless and feeling hopeless.

So I ask you, are you willing to embrace your limitations? Do you feel the tension between helplessness and hopelessness and if so, how do you deal with it? I really want to know. Let’s share some space.

I recently went to a benefit concert in Tulsa that financially supported a cause called Falling Whistles. After a few bands had played their set, an energetic twenty-something from Falling Whistles beautifully shared his heart about what the cause was all about. It went something like this:

“The Democratic Republic of Congo is home to the world’s largest and most deadly war. During the past 10 years, roughly 6 million people have died, and nearly 1,500 people continue to lose their lives daily. Sexual violence is more rampant here than anywhere else in the world, and thousands of children are involved in the war. Why?

There are a number of reasons, dating back over a century. However, most of the conflict is tied directly to the country’s vast natural resources. They are both a blessing and a curse, making Congo a country of great potential and a frequent victim of exploitation. The minerals found in Congo are used in consumer electronics, including laptops and cell phones. While many benefit from the mineral trade, it is the Congolese people who bear the consequences of a conflict that sustains profitable mining enterprise.

A combination of unstable governance, a history of bitterness between local groups, and international interest in Congo makes this situation one of the most complicated on the planet. It is this complexity that has left the current systems in place largely ineffective. A new approach is needed.”

This struck me with a deep sense of ache for the people of Congo but also left me feeling strangely debilitated. I talked about this jumbled feeling of both compassion and helplessness with some friends after the show. As wealthy Americans we are confronted with the great contrast of our comfort and the tragedies of situations like the one going on in Congo. We are oftentimes faced with these huge global realities on a consistent basis. It could certainly have a numbing effect on us if we are not careful. The more that we hear about the massive sweeping injustices in our world, the more it could leave us feeling both compassionate and helpless but also possibly apathetic. I have had these dichotomous feelings after hearing many awe-inspiring causes. Maybe you have experienced these same feelings?

The question that I would like to pose to us is…
How do we stop from feeling half-hearted about our substantial comfort and the number of serious world causes that we encounter customarily?

I used to practice spiritual disciplines.  Now, I just allow myself to indulge in the means of grace.  When I need encouragement that God’s plan for me is wise and loving even when I don’t like my circumstances I read the Bible.  If I’m really struggling I may meditate on select verses or even memorize a pertinent chapter.  I know God will comfort my anxious thoughts and calm my racing thoughts.  So, when I need to, I indulge myself.

When I feel certain compulsions to self-destructive and/or demeaning behaviors, I may treat myself to a day of fasting or some intense physical exercise.  Once again, God accepts my invitation to minister to me by calming my body.  Or, when I feel tired or alone, I go to church and let my pastor spoon feed me some life-nourishing truth and let the worship team draw me into their fellowship of praise.  I may even be treated to an invitation to celebrate communion with God and saints throughout history through receiving the Eucharist.  I feel the passions to love and care for others poured into me through these means of grace.  I unapologetically indulge myself.

Back when I used to think of myself primarily as “a Believer” I practiced spiritual disciplines in hopes of discovering the right things to believe.  When I thought of myself primarily as “a Disciple” I practiced spiritual disciplines in order to be obedient to the principles of God.  But, now-a-days, I think of myself as first and foremost as a child of God, adopted into the family of God.  I rejoice in my forgiveness through Jesus’ sacrifice on my behalf.  I depend upon the Holy Spirit to continue the works of sanctification that has been begun within me.  I cast all my cares on Him, and put away those “spiritual disciplines”.  I’m just a child.  I can’t be expected to be smart enough, strong enough, caring enough, and stable enough to accomplish those disciplines.  Instead, I will indulge myself in the means of grace.

The 00’s came to a close, so I decided to make a “Media Decade in Review List.” We will start out with music albums from the last decade. My criteria for making this albums list came down to what albums have a significant meaning to me, what have I listened to the most, and which albums will stand the test of time. I find it hard to put anything from 2009 on my decade in review list because who knows if it will stand the test of time. Five years from now, will I still like Merriweather Post Pavilion by Animal Collective? Not sure. I am too close to it right now to be able to tell. I have obviously thought about this a little bit too much. Here is the list (in reverse order for dramatic effect).

Honorable Mention
Coldplay, Parachutes (2000)
Wilco, A Ghost Is Born (2001)
Interpol, Turn On The Bright Lights (2002)
Death Cab For Cutie, Transatlantism (2003)
David Crowder Band, A Collision (2005)
The Decemberists, The Crane Wife (2006)
Feist, The Reminder (2007)
Radiohead, In Rainbows (2007)
Kings Of Leon, Only By The Night (2008)

10–Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002)
9–Swell Season, Once Soundtrack (2007)
8–Travis, The Man Who (2000)
7–Pete Yorn, Music For The Morning After (2002)
6–Arcade Fire, Neon Bible (2007)
5–Postal Service, Give Up (2004)
4–Sigur Ros, Takk (2005)
3–Coldplay, A Rush Of Blood To The Head (2002)
2–Sufjan Stevens, Illinois (2005)
1–Arcade Fire, Funeral (2004)

Chris here.  Seems like everything I write on the blog is serious.  Friday is our “current” day, and while we want our writers to make connections and create discussion about people’s role in making the world a better place, today I’m just going to point you to a youtube clip.  Nathan McKinney is writing great stuff every other Friday, and Dan McIntosh is also contributing material to “current”, which will involve discussions about current stuff- music, books, art, movies….things that are thought provoking, and because they are artistic, they make the world a better place.

Well, there’s no analogy, no theological perspective (that I’m going to offer, this time) on this post.  Its just a clip from my favorite movie of the year, The Fantastic Mr. Fox.  I say we give this a shot- the world needs more good games for us to play- especially with burning pine cones.

Have a great Superbowl weekend, and remember, its just a game…..that just about everyone watches at the same time all over the world.

ck

Now that I have run the word motivation into the ground, I thought I would come back and talk about the very root that “should” motivate us. In fact, watching “The Grammy’s” the other night they mentioned this word a lot. It flashed on the screen above the singers more than a dozen times, and each person talking about Haiti mentioned it in their speeches. Although, I don’t know if the word really stuck or if their definition was correct. As most of you probably have guessed this word is “LOVE”.

Love is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but I am not sure we understand the implications it holds. When I was a young stud wooing the ladies (kidding of course), I threw this word out quite a bit. You know the awkward times of getting off the phone and the words “I Love You” usually spew out when you are not thinking, or you get caught in a trap by her spewing the same words first. Merely listening to the radio or musical artists we see love used excessively. “Love Will Build a Bridge,” “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” and my all time favorite by DC Talk, “Luv (notice spelling) is a Verb”. You know DC Talk may have gotten it right more than we think. Listen to these words: “Because love is a word that requires some action.” So what is love without action?

Of course, when speaking of love my mind automatically goes to I Corinthians 13. Most of you might be familiar with what it says in I Corinthians 13:4-8. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Man, what a great passage right? I believe this gives us a great look at love, and we can even compare ourselves to it as sort of a measurement. Am I patient? Do I insist on my way? And so on. The part we often over look is captured by Paul in verses 1-3. Paul gives us an idea of what this motivator is all about. “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

If it is not eloquent words, knowledge (which we put so much stock into now days), or faith and not even ultimate surrender than what is love? Share some stories that you have seen that describe this ultimate motivator, and give some ideas of what you think love truly is. And if that is what you believe then do you posses that kind of love?