About 4 years ago I had a conversation with my father in-law who at that time was just my girlfriend’s father.  He took me out to lunch to get a better feel of who I was and my background.  It was a few days prior to father’s day.  We talked for quite some time and he asked me innocent questions of my past, present and where I wanted my future to be.  I’ll never forget how he seemed truly interested in the things I told him and my plans for life.  He asked me about my father and let me know that my dad must have been a good one because he did a god job on me.  Unfortunately I had to let him know that my mother is to credit because she was my father and my father was a let down and no where to be found in my youth.  He went on to ask me questions about him, in which some I didn’t have the answers to because I didn’t know much about him.  In the effect that it was close to Father’s Day and my father in-law is a God-Fearing, spiritual, Bible quoting, wonderfully challenging man, he challenged me to do something I will never forget…he said I should call my father on Father’s Day.  I was slightly shocked because my wife (Rebecca) had been challenging me to talk to my father as well ever since we started dating.  I asked him why he thought I should call him,  he said “The Bible tells us to honor thy father and mother, period.”  I had a very perplexed look on my face, and then he continued, “It doesn’t say honor thy father and mother only if they are really good people and parents, it just commands us to honor them.”  That statement haunted and consumed my thoughts for about 2 years.

A couple months ago I saw the film “Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire.”  It was one of the most brutal, honest, painful, sad, and hopeful movies I have ever seen.  It was about a 16 year old girl’s journey of learning to read and write while dealing with physical, emotional and sexual abuse, being raped by her father and beaten by her mother.  She was pregnant with her second child, both children given to her by her father.  Her resilience was fascinating and her drive to learn and make her children’s lives better than her own gave me a vision of hope in which I have never seen.  It was one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen.  I was moved by this story, although it was fictional it was derived from real life situations that women have been in.  I am going to stop here with the description of the plot because I feel it is a film that everyone should see and I don’t want to spoil this inspirational story, read the book too, it will rock your socks off…neither the movie nor the book are for young audiences.

Now how do those two completely different paragraphs even pertain to anything I could be thinking?  This I shall explain.  Precious has caused me to do a lot of thinking in the last couple months, helping me realize the amazing blessings I have had in my life and the way God has always seemed to get my back.  It’s helped me count my blessings in my life with the situation I have with my father.  My wife was even led to say “I feel as though I should never complain about anything in my life ever again” after watching Precious.  I have been stirred up in thought about my own father after watching this movie.  My situation with my father is not at all in any way similar to Precious’ situation, it just made me think about bad fathers in general and how up to about 2 years ago my father hadn’t been really a father to me at all.  I began to think about others in my situation or in worse situations such as Precious and how earthly fathers are so important to the foundation and growth of a child.  When there is a lack in a male spiritual mentor it does truly effect a child. I didn’t realize it effected me until about 2 years ago when I was 24 years old.  It was quite a pivotal moment in my life when I woke up and realize that I was severely depressed by the status of my father and I’s relationship.  The feeling was suffocating and crippling, I felt as though I could not properly manage  loving my own children (when I have them one day), unless have some sort of relationship with my own father.  To make a long story short, we had a talk and I told him how our relationship was going to be, and what I needed and expected from him.  It turned out a lot better than what I was anticipating, he seemed to respond to my pain and relate with my feelings.  It seems that this trend of fathers has been in many generations of my family besides this one, and unfortunately my father had fallen into that mold.  Our relationship has grown tremendously and my father has been able to inspire me to understand reasons why I love him, which is quite refreshing (hope and resilience, like Precious).  This was truly inspired by the challenge that my father in-law and wife had issued me some years ago, and it’s one of the many reasons I love both of them with all my heart.  If you were or are in a situation that Precious was in would you be able to honor your father or mother?  If you were or are in a situation more like mine with a father or mother that shares empty promises and was never there for you, would you be able to honor your father or mother?  Think deeply and hardly.